The Element of Time; Does It Really Heal? (Re-edited version)

Three things you cannot recover in life: WORDS after it’s said, CHANCES after it’s missed and TIME after it’s gone.

Three things you cannot recover in life: WORDS after they’re said, CHANCES after they’re gone and TIME after they passed. So before we begin on the subject, let me start by saying that, time is short and people usually forget.

Not too long ago, while conducting an insignificant research on varying social habits and cultures, I came across a certain segment of subjects who appeared to be deeply concerned about their past life’s achievements far more than the present or their future achievements.

Insignificant because these things are sometimes inconclusive. It essentially exposed the idiocies in people but of course they can be amusingly common things we see everyday in our lives.

This is to say that for some people, what took place in their previous life mattered more to them than say, what they can actually achieve years down the road. And that’s usually how they want society to judge them. It was almost like saying, “I was smart in my previous life, buddy so I know these things better.” At best, that sounded like self gloating. At worst, arrogance. Typical it may be so the exercise was somewhatdisengaging.

In my observations, this group consisted of not only high educated individuals but also the not-so high educated ones as well. They believed that their successes in the past or in some cases, any lack of it, can determine how they control relationships with their peers.

Which brings me to my point, Time. The sub-constituent stretch of a moment in our lives, in which we decide where it starts until whatever point of moment we decide it ends. And is Time really capable of healing the undesirable past or is there something else that Time can really offer to us.

To actually say, Time heals everything, when one gets emotionally hurt, is not unreasonable. However to be healed by Time, per se, seemed unrealistic.

Firstly there is basically nothing of our past to be healed about. And Time, is not really the healer that we painted them to be. What Time really does is it literally flies by, stimulating a belief and hopes of achieving dreams that we aspire. And for that reason, Time is able to create naivetés.

When something happened in the past, regardless whether it’s upsetting or distressing, people said that, in time, those things will blow over. On the other hand, when pleasant things happen, it was normal for people to say that those were wonderful Times. So depending of how Time carries around our stories, they are either a nuisance or a friend. And meanwhile as Time progresses, something that happened today will be considered history by tomorrow.

Let’s take for example when a break-up in a love relationship happens. It can be devastating but sometimes people forget that these things happen for a variety of reasons. No matter what the circumstances are, we know that it’s a difficult thing to accept for anyone. After awhile regrets will follow and between the two of you either one will definitely need to endure more emotional pain than the other. Sympathy will come pouring in, more often friends would typically say, “Time will heal”. Unfortunately for me, at that moment I didn’t know what or who to believe at first. Soon I came to realise that Time did nothing.

So realistically, we all need to snap out of these setbacks. If we can’t move on, at the very least, move away. There will be detours once awhile. They are designed to test your resolve. Will you collapse again or soak-up the bumps? There are many ways to deal with everyday inadequacies and for starters, telling ourselves that Time will heal, is really not the way. Time is a brutal s.o.b. They won’t care if you self-destruct. And one of life’s arrangements is, it does not provide for Time to be our friend. So we need to try to open our hearts. Face the music because the tune eventually will end.

“Life is like photography.
You need the negatives to develop.”

Time is an unpaid advocate. — Time has no emotion and Time can really ruin your plans for good measure. So plan for life’s contingencies to insulate yourself. People should realise that what we experience in the past is actually part of our journey. It happened because it was meant to happen. Go with the flow but let it flow steady.

We can call it fate if we want. We can cry over the loss if we want. And then we should try reminiscing. If it’s all done for the sake of feeling oneself again, the after effects of that can be quite fulfilling. Take my word for it. Relish the intense passion that actually occurred during those moments. The raw and wild intimacy. The need to make that false optimism will become unnecessary.

If you could take a quick look back into the past, you’ll probably be thankful because your decision to act made you a different person — probably better, from you were before. Do it over again if you want and not to worry about mistakes because you emotions are better prepared now. They’ve actually become automatically cautious by nature the next time around. Seek that therapeutic sensation if you must. For what matters is, only you and you only.

“We learn something from everyone who
passes through our lives..
Some lessons are painful, some are painless..
but, all are priceless.”

“…Time need not heal my thoughts. I am not in despair. The past shall remained there for me to reach out. Time shall never hold my sanctity for ransom nor my affection to be sold. I shall live life the way I desire and I will decide where my destiny leads me.

For the moment I shall cherish every sweet intimacy we shared. Nothing can compare to those magnificent feats of our lives. The extraordinary part of this life with you shall remain deep within my memory’s immortal vault. Time will pass us by and whenever I yearn for those passionate moments, I would only need to return to the portraits of your love to me. You are forever etched in my Time of life…
“I love you to bits.”
—  ..excerpts from Letters to B.

…

The End